Pebbles of wisdom: not quite pearls
Back in March I hosted our eighth edition of Pecha Kucha Night (Bergen) to more than 300 people at the Cornerteater — a new audience record for us. But enough boasting about how we’ve built a night from nothing to a regular event attracting 300 plus attendants in a (relatively new) theatre that is not in the centre of Bergen, in a city that has never heard of Pecha Kucha, with a host that doesn’t speak Norwegian (me). Where was I?
It was after the event, having viewed some of the Facebook Live footage that Matt Desmier approached me about hosting their Open Sauce event in Bournemouth in July. Open Sauce is a quarterly networking event and magazine all-in-one; hijacking the Pecha Kucha style format (20slides x 20secs). Months passed but finally the night arrived last week, and it was goood.
I loath ‘networking’ events. Typically forced gatherings, sporting name tags, serving cheap wine and painful conversations. Well, not Open Sauce. As host it was my job to make sure the audience were ready for action and kept awake — but I needn’t have worried; my red socks alone kept them punchy. Never have I been heckled so passionately as when I removed my jacket. ‘Car salesman!’ One person screamed. I should be so lucky!
As Host I had the pleasure of introducing three wonderful speakers Syd Lawrence, Ed Gould and Nova Woodrow, one average speaker, Matt Desmier and one knob-head (myself).
To follow are my slides from my ‘Pebbles of Wisdom’ talk. (I was asked to post them)
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Opening slide here. Never take yourself too seriously (although I forgot to say that). Last time I appeared at a talk in Bournemouth was at Silicon Beach my friend Laura Jordan Bombach kindly drew a massive knob on my neck with a Sharpie. I promised Matt I wouldn’t do that again. Sadly Laura wasn’t there, so I asked my son draw a portrait of me instead.
Because I am neither old enough nor wise enough to claim to have pearls. Besides, most of my ‘pebbles’ are ‘borrowed’. NOTE: hashtags are there for sarcastic purposes.
In recent years, and particularly after the Brexit result I, like most of you, have had to adapt my approach to business, in-particular winning new business. Never easy, why would it be — nothing worth doing is easy? Securing new projects has become even more challenging in the face of political and economic adversity; Brexit, hung Parliament to name two contributing factors.
But economic adversity is my middle name. Plan-B Studio was born out of the dot com crash and has survived two recessions and a global financial crisis.
Through accident, experience, mistakes (call-it-what-you-will) I stumbled upon my own mantra: Start Small Think Big.
Start Small: I have a client in the automotive industry. Three years ago they briefed us on a new project. It was big (for us). Eleven new web sites, with a comprehensive overhaul of their back-office, CMS 3rd party feeds and various backedn challenges to solve.
We spent (paid) time in ‘Discovery’; interviewing key stakeholders, managers, key workers in all departments, to help compile a comprehensive proposal and technical specification. We identified key business inefficiencies that our new product could improve. We put forward a costing more than twice their original budget. To our surprise they didn’t laugh us out the room (neither did they sign on the dotted line). The project remained a necessity, the budget commitment required remained a sticking point.
Aside from other projects we were commissioned to do within the business, we maintained the main web site project as a discussion point. Two years later with a major new dealership opening on the horizon, working with the client we all had a lightbulb moment; use the new dealership as a platform to prove our proposal for one tenth of the proposed cost of eleven new web sites.
That new dealership (GWR Kia) has been open ten months. The web site continues to operate successfully whilst evolving and improving in ways their other web sites cannot. Discussions about the other ten web sites is now back on the table.
We were invited to go in with the big ideas, the big proposal, the big deck that came with big numbers. What we should have done is end that big proposal with ‘But here’s how we could start…’
Start small, think big — has helped me consider my approach to this and all of my clients new and existing. Identifying smaller, more manageable, more feasible areas of projects to start whilst never losing site of the big picture that represents the aspirations of the projects potential.
It’s not always applicable, but so far I have found that by reducing the risk for all parties this approach enables both agency and client to test and trust one another.
Everyone loves a big one, right? Projects that is.
But big doesn’t always mean beautiful. Big brings with it big challenges, big commitments both financially and mentally. I love a challenge. I like big projects that pay mortgages and keep my accountant from emailing me doom and gloom, but unlike Theresa May’s Magic Money Tree, big projects don’t grow like trees.
Big projects can also apply unnecessary burdens on both client and agency — more difficult when it is a new client relationship. You want to do a good job, but goalposts moved, known unknowns crop-up. Issues can arise and tensions fray — most of which could be avoided. You wouldn’t go on a first date with your family, family albums, and wedding magazines — would you? (If yes, go check yourself, seriously!)
It’s about feet on the ground and forward vision. No matter how big or small you start with a client, thinking about what is realistic verses optimistic. Important verses urgent. It’s about communication and working better together to build trust and inspire potential.
NO: Learn to say no, more often. Saying yes to any/everything might make you busy, but likely a busy fool. Not to mention stress — an unhealthy ingredient to be aware of. (Slide features Mollie our Hush Puppy Mascot featured in our latest work with the Norway Fringe Festival, see below):
Lemons: You’re familiar with the saying, ‘When life gives you lemons… make lemonade’? The inference being that no matter what life gives you, turn in to your advantage? My advice is? When life gives you lemons… take them. Free shit is cool.
‘One fan at a time’: The wise words of Dolphus Ramseur, one of my US clients who runs Ramseur Records whose web site we just relaunched (see below). This is his mantra to working with his bands and album releases. Don’t be pre-occupied on the big, start small, consider the individual.
Hashtags: Hashtags are not your saviour. This is a message to agencies and brands who think slapping a hashtag on an advert will help track their ego, and to those individuals obsessed with cluttering newsfeeds with more hashtags than words.
Agency/Brands: Using a hashtag in the vain hope your loyal subjects will use the hashtag in the meaningful way you intended so that your social media team can track behaviour for use in your CRM is Bullshit and lazy. You get what you ask for (e.g. Samsung’s #DoWhatYouCant — let’s not even start on the grammatical issue — it sounds like a cockney starting a fight).
Individuals: those of you hashtagging the shit out of every image and message you post. I meant lots of hashtags, more than two screams ‘Please help. I need help, send help, have you found help? Why are you looking at me like that? I am desperate. Please follow me. Please like me. I need help. Send help to me’.
Jargon: Actionable. Best practices. Bottom-of-funnel. Buy-in. Circle back. Close the loop. Commoditise. Deliverables. Dividend yield. Drill down. Future-proof. Ideate. Leverage. Net-net. Operationalise. Paradigm. Scalable. Solutions provider. Top-of-funnel. Top-line metrics. Global. Downsize. Marketplace. Blue sky thinking. Ideas shower. Reaching out. “110 per cent committed”. Delivering. Experience. Ultra-premium. Immersive. Paradigm shift.
STOP IT. Speak normally. Say what you mean and mean what you say. What is wrong with you?
Start-up: I have no issue with anyone who enters the realm of setting up a business and working for themselves. It is to be commended. But this term ‘Start-up’.
If you started a company you are not a start-up you are a new business. Startup has become a buzzword. Overused to the point of meaningless. Is your business meaningless? Then avoid using it.
You don’t sound cool, you sound like a parody an SNL sketch. Start-up has quickly joined the other stab-myself-in-the-eye-with-a-rusty-spoon-inducing words such as ‘platform’, ‘big data’, ‘brainstorms’, ‘disruptor’, ‘innovator’ and (my least favourite) ‘entrepreneur’.
‘Start-up’ is to business what Pop Idol is to music.
Busy? Careful how busy you make yourself sound. Crazy busy. Mental busy. Snowed-under. Manic. Fucking Manic. Crazy mental manic busy. Not only a brag disguised as a complaint you actually sound like someone who is shit at their job.
Toilets: A golden pebble here. When cleaning a toilet, keep your mouth closed. You don’t want toilet water splashing in your mouth. I have had that happen, it is unpleasant.
Also guys — seriously — WIPE THE FUCKING SEAT, and STOP pissing on the floor! What is wrong with you?
Less Cock: Speaking of dicks. Let’s each and everyone of us do all we can to vote, employ, promote more women in to the sharp end of industry, government and the boardroom. I know we have a woman as PM but let’s face it, she’s a robot and a shit one at that.
Get your hands dirty: At least once a week work on something that’s not ‘work’ (commerical). Create, write, draw, paint, make. Or this slide could refer to the last time I did a talk in Bournemouth Matt’s laptop didn’t show any of my fonts, so I designed and hand printed each of these slides and scanned them. That’s getting your hands dirty.
Maya Angelou: I’m not usually a fan of posting quotes, but Maya Angelou was always an exceptional human being, woman and writer:
people will forget what you said, will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Worth remembering.
BULLSHIT: I’m calling BULLSHIT on Facebook’s digital advertising stats. This will be like the VW emissions scandal. Lots of numbers and lines and bar charts with as much substance as a blank spreadsheet. So when this gets revealed (as I suspect it might) as mostly made-up BULLSHIT, you can say you remember Steve saying that was BULLSHIT.
‘Oh your post got 3000+ impressions and 68 clicks. Can I see who they were? Not really, no. Can I get the details of those who clicked? No. Can I get some idea of who they are? Here’s some vague bar charts of gender and age group! That’s not helpful. We have other stats. So do newspapers.’
Sans Smart: Happy never being the smartest person in the room. Plan-B Studio is myself and a network of partners that work together on projects as required. Bringing the best people to the table since 2001. WARNING: DON’T BE A SMART ARSE.
Advice on Advice: My so-called ‘careers advisory’ (who doubled as my Maths and Science teacher) told me aged 15 that my school grades weren’t up to much, laughed when I said I wanted to be an architect and advised me to look in to military service. RIP Mr Simmons.
Listen, take it in under consideration, but ultimately follow your heart.
Not one to want to end a talk on a sad note, but I dedicated my talk to Maryam Mirzakhani.
In 2014 Maryam became the first woman to win the Fields medal, often described as maths’ Nobel prize. A sad loss to mathematics, to her family and to the world. A pioneer who even in death inspired change with Iranian newspapers breaking hijab taboo in tributes by showing her face on the covers of their newspapers.
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I was asked by a couple of people to post my script. This passage I wrote and read out loud to introduce the very love Nova Woodrow, a Psychotherapist, Coach and creator of Positive Potential® who was at Open Sauce to talk about positivity, potential and help with how to help you manage your mind…
‘What was that noise? Why is there no rhyming word for Orange? <sing> Sergeant Peppers Lonely, Sergeant Peppers lonely, Sergeant Peppers lonely hearts club band… Why did that client sign the contract and then disappear? I forgot about doing that thing for that project. Did I post it to basecamp. I need a new web site. I need to re-do my holding site. Did I reply to that email. Why is my ex still alive. I’ve not started on that workshop that’s next week. <sing> Yesterday I woke-up sucking a le-mon, yesterday I woke-up sucking a le-mon. The rubbish needs to go out. Did I do the recycling? Do foxes really need to sound like screaming babies? Am I too old to be an F1 driver? Button is only a few years younger than me. Theresa May is PM. How did that happen? How did she find £1bn for the DUP alliance but not for Nurses and public sector workers? Careful, they voted Tory here. Does Jack White get royalties every time a crowd sings ‘Oh Jeremy Corbyn?’ What about FIFA — Did they pay Jack White? What about the FIFA scandal — that’s gone quiet? Remember when all we worried about was the sound of fufu-zellars? What about Flight MH370? How has Trump not been impeached yet? Is the dishwasher beeping? Why do white goods need to beep incessantly when they are finished? Needy fuckers. Do Trump supports even know the Statue of Liberty was made by and gifted by immigrants? What is happiness? Is that a mosquito? Billions of milky-ways like ours and we’ve still not met any other life-forms? Pessimistic, optimistic, cynic — could I have that as an epitaph? Who can i trust to deleted my internet history if I die? How will I ever afford to retire?
Hands-up who has a head that never shuts the fuck up? ‘
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Links
http://www.techworld.com/startups/why-im-going-stop-using-word-startup-3610127/
http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/03/elon-musk-billion-dollar-crusade-to-stop-ai-space-x
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2017/07/17/ai-biggest-risk-face-civilisation-elon-musk-says/
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/7038536/11-of-the-funniest-interactions-with-tinder-bots
https://realtruth.org/articles/081002-005-europe.html
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/mar/21/books-interview-david-graeber-the-utopia-of-rules
http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/maryam-mirzakhanis-pioneering-mathematical-legacy
http://people.com/politics/australian-foreign-minister-trump-french-first-lady-appearance/
https://github.com/samshadwell/TrumpScript
https://medium.com/@nayafia/we-re-in-a-brave-new-post-open-source-world-56ef46d152a3
https://qz.com/677122/when-programmers-get-weird-the-funniest-code-projects-on-github/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2792691/
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2004/oct/12/pressandpublishing.broadcasting
